These boots were made for walking

Hi.......it's me....Annie Grace,
This is my resting spot # 83. Under the table. From this vantage point a multitude of things can occur.
1. I am in the way from her (Mommy Dearest) sitting down in HER chair and therefor she must move to another chair dragging all the tasks she has thrown on the table to accomplish with her.
2. I can pretend I am suddenly sooooo interested in one of the 41 scarfs she leaves draped over the chair which makes her take interest in me thinking that she has neglected me and my "playtime".
3. I can lay on the floor sprawled out and look at her with a longing look that she interprets as happiness. It is not. The longing look is my meditation of mentally transporting myself to Poland.
4. I stare at her shoes wondering if the leather is worth scratching.
5. When she moves just a little.....I quickly jump up with a stunned look, draw in my whiskers and this usually follows with "Oh Annie.....I am so sorry! Did I disturb you? Do you want a treat? Mission accomplished....treats on the floor instantly.
As I lay here thinking of all the things I could do...her boots catch my eye. Those heels....ghastly indeed. I read the soles. VIA SPIGA. Are those new???? I ask.
"Yes Annie.....they are. I HAD to get them for work. Don't you just love them? They are tax deductible under uniforms."
How is a 4 inch heeled boot tax deductible? The UGG"S.....maybe.
"Well Annie....I wear them most days that there is no snow on the walkways" she tells me while Googling George Clooney to see where he is.
"Matter of fact......I just came from a wake and some one liked them" she continues to drone on.
Really??? A wake you say.....Do you realize the price tag sticker is still on the bottom? Is it possible that you embarrassed our whole family and knelt at a wake for everyone to see? Is it possible that the ENTIRE room at the wake now knows you have new boots? As she gasps (usually it is I that gasps in horror) and lifts up the foot ......a true look of horror comes over her face which I just stare at her and then slowly.......ever so slowly.....leave the room in disgust.

Rule # 1 before going to a wake.....CHECK YOUR SOLES!

I am now heading off to the abyss of her closet to inspect all the shoes before settling down on the old boots which I suspect will now be a gift to me in which I will have a new scratching leather item. Surely anyone would now donate their old shoes to me after my perceptive detective work. I am hesitant to enter the abyss of a closet as I was locked in yesterday "by mistake" and have not completely recovered from the imprisonment. PLEASE.......check where I am before exiting this prison!
Check where I am
Check your soles