Hi.....it's me....Annie Grace,
This morning started out in a normal fashion which means I awoke fresh and perky at 5:15 AM ready to conquer the world for about and hour or so before returning back to my post morning Sheba pre-breakfast nap.
In my most affectionate way......I woke Mommy Dearest. A nip on the arm.....about 31 times. She hides her limbs under the covers, I now go for the shoulder (NEVER EVER the face......serious ramifications would result...like my death) and next I feign serious interest in sticking my paw under the covers to see if that truly is where the limbs are. Delightful! They are indeed under the covers and I now make going under the covers without my head an art form. First one paw, then the nose, my shoulder, paw #2 next and lastly I swat at the covers.
"Annie Grace! what are you doing?"
What am I doing? Getting you up so I can have nourishment.
"Annie....it's 5:17 AM and it's too early."
Human time has no conceptual influence for me. Get up.
I skulk up and peer into her face. Concentrating on her nose. To bite or not to bite. Next.....she blows on my face. I am aghast. As I pull my body into a fighting position and open my eyes very wide in mock horror. She just blew in my face! This is either a sign of either a revolt or control and neither is acceptable to me.
I now go to the other side of the bed and contemplate this rather bold maneuver of blowing on my face. With visions of a CSI agent running rampant through my head I swiftly make one more attempt of limb attack. She blows on my face again. I retreat.....with three letters running through my head....M A D. I lay down to contemplate and watch the clock.....5:31, 5:55, 6:01, 6:12, and finally 6:37. Times up Mommy Dearest. How could you possibly resist this face???
I am unsure what to make of this shift on control but am contemplating throwing up tomorrow morning at 5:15 AM. Where do I stand? Am I not her offspring to be cherished? As I receive my appointed 1 minuscule tablespoon of Sheba and daintily inhale it......I am scared. I continue my morning ritual of news update. (yes......I read!) I am ordered to use the computer as my issues with paper involve chewing and one can not chew and read at the same time. I scan the news and gasp.
Yes.....we are very dramatic here and a gasp just helps increase the drama level.
Yet another robbery, at a liquor store......with a machete. A machete wheeling robber??? A machete??? Are we so economically challenged that even the thieves can not afford a proper weapon? Please someone help them out. If you can not afford a gun I would advise leaving the industry. Proper attire for a robbery always includes a mask, gun and unbranded clothing. One does not wear a Patriots sweatshirt, bandanna on the head and a machete. I am suspect that the criminal mind has also decreased. Do they not pay attention at robbery school??? A liquor store is also a poor choice of attack. Next time they should go to a hair salon.....these days it's cash preferred (No record of the transaction for ones husband to see how MUCH is really spent for our constant grooming).
As I think about all of these pathetic portrayals of a criminal......I also contemplate my hierarchy in this household. How...oh how....could someone blow on my face and how could one rob with a machete?
No comments:
Post a Comment