Happy Mothers Day

Hi....it's me....Annie Grace,

After much complaining about The Queen not being home to amuse me.....it all came back to haunt me. Yesterday she was out peddling her wares and she decided to stay home with me last night. She arrives home with the black Coach Satchel (filled with files for me to chew while she is out of the room .....a gift indeed!) plops it down, off fly the black peep toed dangerous high heels, the cork comes off the bottle of fermented grape juice, and she now seeks my attention. "Oh Annie.....I had the most crazy day!" she tells me. Did you sell anything? I ask knowing the answer. "Well no Annie but not for lack of trying" she mumbles while exclaiming that Sephora sent her yet another email with make-up specials and new product. I quickly hit the delete button to remove Sephora from her line of vision. FOCUS lady! Feigning interest in her rather dramatic description of her day I now stare at her eyes. What the heck is that?? Glitter?? In her eyelashes? Look Lady.....you sell real estate, you are not a star of the silver screen. As the lashes flutter I become momentarily blinded with each blink. Finally I move my sight to her face. What the heck? Glitter on her cheeks? I am suspect that there is more glitter on her today than on the 5 year old Urchin during a dance recital. Finally she is getting to the end of her day and now stops....looking right at me. I freeze. Not listening to her can backfire. "Annie, did you hear what I said?" she is asking me while putting her face just a tad too close. Yes......continue, please. "Well Annie, it's Mothers Day tomorrow and I only have one showing so we can spend some time together and you can give me my gifts". You would think I would be scared that I don't have any gifts but what is scaring me right now is that someone would ASK to see a house on Mother's Day. Seriously. Well Mommy Dearest.......about my gifts for you. We have a small dilemma here. With the tanking real estate market I thought it best that I etch out a card in my litter box to you and eat out of my bowl without spilling the food all while listening to the new James Taylor CD which I downloaded for you and then we can Google where George Clooney is. Right now she is so busy checking to see how the Revlon Color Stay Liquid Lipstick in Sangria has held up for the day so she missed my proposed presents. I pour her some more wine and endure an evening with a rather ridiculous movie which is so far removed from real life for the 5th time.......

Being Mothers Day I allowed Mommy Dearest an additional 16 minutes of sleeping this morning. I hoped up on the bed ever so quietly and stuck my nose in her face. Now I give a swipe of the hand cream off the night stand all while never taking my eyes off her. GET UP! Look.........the sun is shining, you must open my windows, it's Mothers Day, you only have one house to show oh.....and I need my Sheba. Today will be a fabulous day!