Day 363

Hi....it's me....Annie Grace,
I should start out like this......

Hi. My name is Annie...and I am a groomaholic.

It's called spring cleaning in my species language. I have been grooming myself diligently in anticipation of my HUGE surprise party for 1 year in captivity. Today is day...363. I am absolutely certain that in 2 days I shall be set free. Surely this experience was a test to my mental sanity and now I shall be deported to Italy. Or Poland. Somewhere in which I can lead a normal life NOT filled with Sephora, GNP (Gorgeous Nanci Product), Dolce & Gabanna Light Blue lingering in the air at all times, watching The Perfect Storm (with George) about 30 times, endless conversations about...nothing and a life of peace and quiet.
Since I feel the need to bond with my Songbirds in the morning I have been getting up a tad earlier (1 hour to be precise) and this means as my care giver.....SHE too must get up with me. It has been quite a battle. I have pointed out that if SHE did not feed them....we might not have this problem....my point fell upon deaf ears. I was packing up my Sheba to head out in 2 days when she saw me and said "Annie...what are you doing?". Packing up! "But Annie....you live here. Forever." I gasped. Is she serious??? "Oh Annie....it's just the beginning of our life. One year together! What fun we have had." I stare at her. Once again...is she serious? I am a cat. Not a husband. Granted we have a routine, conversations, sleep pattern, and schedule together but A LIFE? I am now under the realization...I am doomed. This becomes completely apparent when she is now showing me the Color Stay Mineral Lip Gloss in summer pink which stays put for 8 hours. I unpack my Sheba, scoff some Wisker Lickens Party Flavors, saunter off to my window and telepathically.....send signals to Schmirl in Italy. Although I am anxiously awaiting my party I do realize I have 2 days to deposit LARGE clumps of hair throughout the house.