The Rock Star....falls

Hi .......It's......me....Annie Grace,

What a lovely Christmas Eve dinner at The Cleavers! Without me.....Please note The Lady and JFK Jr are missing from the photos which means:

A. They are doing shots in the kitchen

B. Doing all the cooking while everyone sits

C. Trying to figure out how to convert ounces to 3/4 of a cup for cooking and neither one has a clue.

My guess would be "A" but one will never know.

So........after much laughter, wine, The Rock Star snorting while laughing, wine, Cherubs glancing around the table at each other wondering if they can sell this family on ebay....it happens. The Rock Star gives a big snort and falls off her chair. Yes..... OFF the chair. There is still speculation if The Mother Felon pushed her but...one will never know.

Anyway..... this year was the first in many years that The Rock Star was home and she clearly wreaked havoc. First she wins The Blessed Event, then she doles out fabulous presents to everyone and The Queen just burst into tears when she saw the lavish gift from The Rock Star.....Diesel jeans! Couldn't you just die! So off The Lady goes to try them on completely gushing about how fabulous she will look. As she tries them on... and tugs...and tugs...they don't fit! Now she peers at the store tag....clearly they are mis-marked. So she tugs them off and now figures she will examine the inside tag thinking she will file a complaint and sue at the store of purchase for emotional trauma and misrepresentation. At this point The Lady is thinking that the store will give her thousands of dollars in gift certificates. Already thinking about the 3/4 chocolate UGG's that she will finally get....The Lady now reads the tag inside the jeans and breaks out into a cold sweat...there is no mistake. How will she walk out in the room? The shame... Now what? For a fleeting moment she figures she will remind everyone that perhaps they are a "junior cut". She calmly walks out and proclaims that it is just a fluke. It gets worst...the following day The Rock Star brings two more pairs of Jeans for the lady to try on. The Rock Star pushes and pushes..."go try them on...one of them will be way to big but try them on anyway" she says. With strength and humility....The Lady tries them on. With the opening of The Wide World of Sports theme ringing in her head....."THE AGONY OF DEFEAT". They do not fit. Head hung low The Lady emerges from the bathroom and silently vows that the holidays are not a time to kill a sibling. Wait until March. She calmly folds up the jeans and gives them back to The Rock Star with a tear in her eye and yet a smile. Clearly the whole industry of jeans is wrong. Then The Mother Felon says "Oh your father and I were just saying how good you look.....sometimes you look too thin." TOO THIN???? Is there such a thing in the mind of a shallow, vain and delusional mind of a woman who would kill over Dior Waterproof Intense Brown Eyeliner? Then The Father Felon pipes in "You look solid now". SOLID? Like line backer solid? Like Sears Toughskin Jean solid? Like a solid as a big rock? The stress of family at the holidays is just crystal clear now.