Hi....It's me....Annie Grace...

I am cherishing my quiet moments while they are fleeting. Yes.....more snow. The Lady is out gathering last minute supplies which are sure to enhance my safe well being. A vat of curry chicken will surely make me safe. She leaves this morning complaining that she has to show vacant properties and that means no high heels as most come with show instructions ending in a comment of "bring a flashlight" which is not a good sign. So off she goes appropriately dressed in cream and brown Ugg's (not the 3/4 chocolate Ugg's that she desperatly wants) which she feels is the best attire for vacant/foreclosed properties. Black is too severe and dooming, white is too angelic and signifies purity .....which houses with no electricity and scurrying rats might counteract any pure thoughts. I notice she is liberally applying matching beige eyeshadow which I am suspect is new and I have never seen it. So now I breath a sign of relief as she sashays out the door like a cyclone of Dolce and Gabanna Light Blue. Now I rest...... on the dining room table which I am in a little bit of hot water for. Last night she comes home from work in boots that I feel are a tad too risky for work...but who am I to point out her flaws and this is our conversation
Mommy Dearest: "Annie, were you on the dining room table?"
Me : No
Mommy Dearest: "Why is there hair on the table runner?"
Me: "Because my hair floats.....upward. Maybe you should clean more"
Mommy Dearest: "But Annie...there are clumps. You know the tables are off limits"
Me: "I have never been on the tables" (This is where I must open my eyes wide to accent their blue innocence)
Mommy Dearest: "Annie, seriously....you have hair on the table. I know you were there."
Me: "Not me"
Mommy Dearest: "Well then who?" (Now she looks mad ...really mad ...and I am not sure if I should remind her that her frown line might deepen)
Me: " Maybe it left over from HIM?" (As soon as I said it...I knew I was doomed....she just sprinkled his ashes over the river today..... Now I am quickly thinking about how to back paddle..)
Mommy Dearest: Annie..... How could Ted's hair appear now?" (Her hand is on her hip and she is looming over me....totally a control thing.)
Me: "I have no idea."
Mommy Dearest: "Really Annie...."
Me: "Is that beige eye shadow new?"
Mommy Dearest: "Yes Annie....don't you just love it!"

Now she is exaiming herself in "low lights" to see how the new shade looks.

With a sigh of relief that the moment had passed and I have escaped any punishment by deflecting it to her self centeredness....it is time to rest. She will be arriving home soon...to bond. I must make a note to self....no clumps on the tables.