Our New Year Resolutions

Hi....It's me Annie Grace.....

After a complete day of sleeping.....The lady thinks I was anxiously awaiting her return.....NOT. Anyway, as I hear here pull in I quickly scramble from my most recent sleeping berth of the couch and perch myself at the door to greet her with a quite mad look in my eye to which she conceitedly thinks that I was lonely while she was out peddling her wares. It truly is one of my most successful Wild Cards. As she lugs in yet another full Coach Satchel of files that I promptly begin to chew knowing she will not open any of them tonight and will only realize in the morning that my chewing on them has...destroyed them. But that is not my concern. So I asked The Lady about our New Years Resolutions. She sighs and flounces down in MY leather chair and I notice the black stockings. Perfect.......fur magnets. As I feign affection by rubbing myself on them she begins the chatter......endlessly...about how ridiculous New Years Resolutions are. I do not feel the need to remind her that just about everything in her thought process is ridiculous and she is so busy twirling her hair looking for split ends that now might not be the right moment. After a moment she jumps up which completely disrupts me and now begins making a list of Our Resolutions.
1. Read more murder/mystery books with a slight element of trash
2. Watch less news and more CSI or Lifetime movies which will give more insight into the rest of the country with special emphasis on NY, LA and Miami
3. Take a class. Maybe...The Art of Applying Make-up. That falls under the category of Art
4. Take another class. Perhaps...Learning how to live with your remote controls. That would be categorized under Mechanics
5. Take a third class. Life without shopping and credit cards. That one is Education
6. Only have 2 olives in a martini NOT 4. That is budgeting and weight loss! A twofor!!
7. Throw away the Bloomingdale's catalogue....without reading it
8. Never ever go to bed without a full slather of face and eye moisturizer
9. Spend less time at work. Fluorescent lighting is bad for your eyes and skin.
10. Gain weight...like 30 lbs and see who is really a friend and asks you "Are you plumper?"
11. Cut back on exercise. Clearly it's not good for your joints
12. Write a list of all the people who were mean last year and remove them from "Contacts" Ouch!
13. Have the same hair color for the whole year. (I have no problem with that!)
14. Always .....always drink a martini from the Princess Martini glass. It's magical!

She actually asked me how many credits are offered on the three classes she wants to take and will that be applied to her Masters Degree. The only one I can think she will live by is... #14.
Happy New Year!

Love,
Annie Grace