Statements to ponder....

Hi...it's me Annie Grace.....
We sat tonight eating dinner....Iams hairball reducer with Wisker Lickens and I asked her about some crazy statements and questions people ask. I actually did this to distract her from paying too much attention to me. So I got her going....it was amusing to me.

Who are you voting for - Huumm..let's see I have a 50% chance of having to listen why I am wrong. My answer....John Kerry...he is very handsome. And you?

Don't forget to vote - How can anyone FORGET? Is it a secret day? Do you just guess which day it might be. Has it not been on the news 18 hours a day for 2 years?

Why are they selling? - Oh, because they hate the house...it's a money pit and all the neighbors are weird, felons or just mean.

Why is he/she single? - Oh, because there is something wrong with him/her, they are fussy, commitment phobic and undesirable....if you are not married then something clearly is wrong.

No,.... you go ahead - This is the statement made when you tell someone to go ahead of you in line and they now try to trump your niceness by suggesting they are nicer and they were going to do it but you beat them. Just go ahead and say Thank You they will feel good about themselves all day. This also occurs at stop signs, only it's a gesture. You tell them to go ahead and they just blow off your nice gesture by waving you ahead. Now that is an accident waiting to happen. Why? It must be a control thing.

The house is overpriced - No...you don't really like it enough to make an offer on it, you can not deal with having to make a decision or you don't make enough money to buy it.

How old are you? - Huummm let me see...when was the last time you went to confession and what did you confess? This question only applies in your 19-22 age bracket when you want to get into a bar. That is the only time someone needs to know.

Are you finished? - This occurs when you are eating out and there is no food left on the plate and your silverware is properly placed signifying so. Answer: No.....I still have to lick the plate. Or you are only half way through and now you wonder...am I suppose to be done?

Are you dinning alone? - This occurs when you go out to eat by yourself. No.....I am here with my invisible friend from 1st grade. That will be two...please. Then they suggest they put you at the corner table at the back of the restaurant so no one sees you. Ask to be seated right in the middle of the restaurant and watch the hostesses face. Then linger over dinner like you are in no hurry.

Do you need help? - No...but thank you. The flat tire and hazard lights flashing are just because I needed some time by myself to sip my coffee.

Do you know why I stopped you? - No..officer but please write it down for me on the ticket. Here is where your response is dooming no matter which way you answer. Yes...I do officer-Now you have admitted to a blatant disregard for the law. No...officer..I do not- Now you are admitting you do not know the law.

Are they moving? - No..they will be staying with the house after you buy it.

How many people are you having for Thanksgiving? - Why is there a certain amount you have to have? Oh...you are having more than me? Good. Clearly ....it's the same amount of work to cook regardless of how many come!

Have you been following the stock market? - No why? Did something happen to it? Can you get an update on TV?

What did you do last night? - Oh...went to The Grammy's, then flew to Paris for an after hours party hosted by Sephora, and then went on George's private yacht and was home by 7 AM. And you?