Redneck Barbie

Hi...It's me Annie Grace.....

I personally did not come up with this name....Redneck Barbie....The NJ Waif did. But it seemed so fitting for The Lady...I stole it. First of all who cuts limbs of trees with lip gloss? Who stacks wood in UGG'S? Who does outside work with matching polar fleece to her tee shirt? Simple. A redneck Barbie. No she really is! She has more power tools in her basement and more lipstick than anyone!! No...seriously. We have bolt cutters....for what?????????? She takes care of a roaring fire with a fine wine in her hand. I personally find it horrifying. I live here! Wine and fire should not mix. The power screwdriver comes out more than I care to mention....pictures are hung, bath towel bars are moved....all in the latest fashion attire. Guess what she does when it snows? Drives back and forth over the driveway packing down the snow because.....she can't wait for the plow guy. Oh....yes and she shovels the walkway in a white fur hat. No...seriously.... a redneck Barbie indeed. I had to listen to the most BORING story of climbing to the top of Mt Washington.....all while wearing mascara. Oh .....I am sure it was a big hit when you got to the top. Yes, she told me.

I have hidden all her power tools....labeling all of them so she knows where they are and have confiscated her huge box labeled "painting supplies"...as I cleaned further I feared I would find HIM tucked away as well but she has told me HE is is still tucked away in the bookcase in an urn. Great. Another Hallmark moment.... looming. So... I asked her..."Redneck Barbie..... perhaps you could TONE IT DOWN!!" She has no idea what I am talking about... she is outside wrapping bundles of firewood in twine...so it will look prettier. No logic. None.