Today I have had to endure a multitude of stressful situations. First it started when I woke up.....COLD! I went up to the top of the bed to tell her this and promptly was bombarded with an attempt to bond with me. That was not on my agenda. I endured about 5 minutes of it and then went into my horrified look like I have just realized where I am and have no idea who she is.....this usually amounts to her feeling guilty and backing off as she says to me ALL THE TIME that cats need time to adjust. I call it my Wild Card. I use it when the situation is warranted or just to mess with her mind. My other Wild Card is on a moments notice to just act crazy running from invisible demons and crouching in a corner like I fear for my life with horror in my eyes. This usually gives me some space. Wild Cards are basically my way of humoring myself at her expense. Anyway...... enough about The Wild Cards. So I have figured out my only salvation is perhaps to sleep under the covers. Under the pretence of getting up into her face (as she does to me....a lot) I gave her a kiss which instantly makes her sappy and the skulked under the covers. She is so overwhelmed by my affection she has yet to figure out I just wanted warmth. Later I patiently wait for my minuscule portion of Sheba.....tuna favored......and wait....and wait, I realize she has forgotten me! Why? How could she get sidetracked so early in the morning? Simple...Fall Fashions on The Today Show. She quickly rushes to the abyss of her closet checking to see what she needs. Preparing a list of ALL the items she must have. I remind her of the economic conditions and she instantly becomes sad. She says "Annie, do you mean I can't get the new black UGG boots, plaid skirt and purple sweaters?" No you may not. Once we get over that hurdle I get nervous because she seems in no great rush to leave. Oh goody.....working at home this morning....that was also not on my agenda. Time for a Wild Card. I now go to the back door and spend some time trying to open it. I make such a racket and she says "Annie where are you tying to go?". WHERE? Anywhere!!! Florida perhaps where they don't have to shut their windows on me and it's warm. Poland? Italy?
I am able to scoff some Wisker Lickens and she leaves me alone for a few hours. Hopefully tomorrow will be back to my schedule. Meanwhile this is another wild card......lay in a very unusual place for a half hour. It drives her insane!
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