Hi.......it's me....Annie Grace......
As I awoke this morning I felt the impending sense of doom. Life has been running quite smoothly for me over the last couple of weeks with breakfast promptly served at 6:22 AM (with me still being the natural alarm clock and finding that the "light" biting on the limbs works best), with the real estate market picking up this has left me alone for the day to sleep while she peddles her wares and all in all......no drama. UNTIL, this morning. I just knew the holiday spirit was bound to impact my life eventually and as I slunk into the kitchen to check out what morsels are at my station...... I froze. There is a HUGE paw stocking tacked over my dishes. My perfect pink nose twitched with irritation and then my nose detected a billowing cloud of Dolce and Gabanna Light Blue....... she is standing behind me and smiling with a rather atrocious shade of mauve on her lips.
"Oh Annie....don't you love your stocking!" she says all while glancing at herself in the mirror which I assume was to check out this rather unbecoming shade of lipstick which she has informed me is #701 or appropriately named WINED UP. I stare up to the ceiling first looking for Divine intervention and second to collect my thoughts and third to telepathically try to remove myself from this twinkling grossly over sparkled house, possible back to Poland. I count to 11, open my eyes and see that I am still here and THAT THING is still over my dishes. As I saunter over to get a measly morsel of Iaams Chicken Flavor she is following me still talking. I put in my invisible ear plugs and eat. I can't hear most of what she is saying but the two pieces of information I do gather is that she is not working until noon today so we positively MUST spend some time together this morning and also that The Blessed Event is next week. I plot how I can go off after I eat, curl up on the couch with 1 paw staged in the air and all my fur fluffed up to the hilt which will make her tip toe around me as to not disturb me. As for The Blessed Event.....it is out of my control and soon I will be under siege with many screeching women who seek to win The Crown. Perhaps I will throw up later. God Save the Queen!
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