Skinny Jeans

Hi....it's me Annie Grace......

With Mommy Dearest feeling better my life is finally back to normal...as much as it can be. This morning as she is rummaging through the abyss of the closet looking for sox's (they are hidden during summer) screaming at no one in particular "I hate the end of summer!!!!!". As she is screeching from the back of the closet I quickly saunter away only to stop in my tracks as she emerges with a basket of sox's, hair standing on end and a rather wild scary look in her eyes. I turn, freeze, fix my eyes on her, calmly sit, place both paws in front of me and wait. At this point I mentally removing myself from her irrational tantrum which is about to occur from a wardrobe change from flip flops and short skirts to boots and sweaters.



"Oh Annie, I can't find ANYTHING to wear!" she says with a tear in her eye.



I blink three times and realize I am still here. The mental telepathy did not work.

I ignore her for....about an hour.....all while pretending I am a NCIS Agent by skulking around the house looking for varies clues as to where by favorite ball went. Being so self absorbed she has no idea of the severity of a lost ball and makes no attempt to help me. After looking in every spot I can possible get into and getting every door I can rattle to open I now turn my attention to the amount of hair clumps I have brilliantly deposited in every crevice. They are simply EVERYWHERE, and she has no idea. Seriously. I make a mental note to remind her of the clumps hidden from view the next time she gets clingy and wants me to sit with her, I will be promptly flung from her clutches and the vacuum will be roaring with a vengeance. But anyway....I digress.

She emerges from around the corner, eyes dried from tears, 3 coordinating shades of purple shadow and eyeliner heavily applied with her hair teased up toward the moon. Are those new jeans? I do not remember them. Is our budget off track again? Never EVER directly ask is she bought something, she will just ignore the question and dance around the word "purchased", never admitting to it. I just stare at her until she looks at me.

"Oh Annie, do these jeans look good on me?" I sigh as she asks the dreaded question.

Yes Mommy Dearest. Are they new this season?

"Not really "new" Annie. I got them a while ago, they are SKINNY jeans. How do they look?" she says while twirling around in front of me. Twirling around is not a good idea as she stumbles. Skinny jeans? What are the other options? Fat Jeans? Plump Jeans? Overweight Jeans? Big Butt Jeans? How on earth can a pair of Jeans make you skinny? Most of all what daft person would actually believe that? As she is happily twirling through the house sending yet more hair clumps under the furniture I make one statement to her.

I hope you did not pay full price!