My daily scam

Hi....it's me....Annie Grace...
Let's just say this week was not how I planned it. I had a plan. Normal, predictable,ordinary and quite satisfying. As we awoke to my affection love biting on her arm she rolled out of bed, ceremoniously dumped my ration of Sheba onto my finest china and promptly went back to bed. After delicately inhaling the Sheba I ventured back upstairs and hopped on the bed peering really close to her face. What's you problem today Mommy Dearest I asked. Before she could answer I backed up about....4 feet....and gasped. Hey Lady....have you looked in the mirror? You look horrible. Please, get up and apply some shimmer.
"Oh Annie, I am terribly sick with a cold." she tells me while sounding like Rudolph when they put his fake nose on. (which is my FAVORITE TV Christmas special movie!) I see....well would you mind moving to the other side of the bed so I can rest and not contract this plague. She moves to the far side of the bed which helps my viewing of the TV.

So....we spend the entire day together. Resting. After the third time of watching the Lifetime movie of P.S. I Love You (which I slept through all THREE) I realized that any moment she would become aware of my daily scam. The one in which I do nothing all day, sleep all day,get up randomly and graze, only to act like I have been neglected all day while she is at work, feigning loneliness when she returns.

As she rises from bed I refrian from gasping yet again and I suggest that she really should shower and wash her hair which looks like a horrid rats nest. "Oh Annie, do I look that bad?" She says while taking yet another dose of nasal spray. Bad??? Oh My. There is very little I can do in this situation except comfort her because she is quite frightful. "Annie, what is it you do all day when I am not here? Is this it?" she asks. I freeze in my tracks. This is it, I am doomed.

Oh no Mommy Dearest.....I am only doing this to be close to you in your time of need. Normally I balance our checkbook on Monday, invest in the stock market all while checking our 401K on Tuesday, dust and wipe down the woodwork on Wednesday, write letters back to your fans on Thursdays, and order groceries on Friday.

I watch her head turn back toward me while cleaning my litter box. "Oh Annie....I have fans???" she screams. Yes Mommy Dearest. With my exposure deflected I watch yet another Lifetime Movie with her and refrain from pointing out her that even her very expensive array of make up can not make her look better. Perhaps tomorrow will go back to normal.