We have been transported to Seattle

Hi....it's me....Annie Grace,

I awoke this morning looked out the window and quickly swiped the Mary Kay Lip Balm off the table then following up with the large tube of hand cream. GET UP! I am terrified and I must wake the sleeping Queen. We have been transported to Seattle I am quite certain. It's like Dorothy and Toto from Kansas. Someone has moved our house to a land of rain. Hey Lady get up....what is going on? It's rain rain rain! Now I grow concerned. Does she have the ability to practice real estate in Seattle? Is the market better here? How will I be able to keep up with the outcome of Mr. Craig List? Are they to concerned about The Swine Flue in Seattle? Will our Toad know where we have been abducted to? These questions are running rampant through my mind. Finally she tells me to stop walking over her head. (I pace when I am nervous) "Oh Annie....no one beamed us through the sky to Seattle. It's spring and get off my head." she tells me. Oh...good. Get me my Sheba. Realizing I am safe, I quickly resort back to my controlling manner. Fresh water please, another scoop of Hairball Reducer Iams Chicken flavored please, remove my fresh hair clumps from the floor or I will eat them and then throw up, and while your at it..... check the litter box. With My Stepford mother bustling about the house this leaves me some quiet time to reflect what I plan for the day.

I quietly hop up on The Lady's chair at the kitchen table knowing full well that she will just opt for a different chair as to not disturb me. As I begin the two hour morning grooming process I begin contemplating my frightful start to this morning. Will the sun ever return? Will my windows be open again? Will the rain stop? Now that I know we were never transplanted to Seattle I dwell on my fate. I am still here. With HER. Now she has finished all my chores and is slathering on 4 coordinating shades of Lancome (it was free....when you purchase "X" amount of product....she tells me) which are seriously clashing with her outfit but.....it has no bearing on my life today. So I say nothing. Except.....Hey Lady...you look peaked...did you apply blush? Off she goes to do "one last check" on her make-up application. Now the air is permeated with Lancome Mystique (once again.....it was free with a purchase of "X" amount of product.) and she is sashaying out the door...... I celebrate my peace and quiet with a quick scratch on the leather chairs and back to my kitchen chair for a 6 hour nap. Dreaming of Poland...or Italy.