Protecting her from a purple mouse

Hi.....it's me....Annie Grace.....

I have been upstairs pretending I am a spy being chased by a 10 foot purple mouse. Running like I am in fear for my life. Rattling as much as I can until I hear "Annie, what are you doing?". I am trying to save my life! Don't you see the huge 10 foot mouse? Are you blind? It won't leave me alone!
I am suspect that she is ......


A. Too self absorbed to see it

B. Needs a dose of my nip to actually enhance it from invisible to horrifying

C. Being over 40 has really affected her vision

D. Lives in her own world...once again corresponding with "A"

E. Is too scared to come upstairs.


Needless to say, I killed this mouse after about 44 minutes of battle. I sashay into the kitchen expecting a huge reward for not only saving myself but her and Fred ...The Fox. The fanfare is minimal, not quite what I expected. A morsel of Wisker Lickens and a pat on the head. Now I spend about 67 minutes on red alert. .... spooked by every sound, staring out the window, my pupils dilated (maybe as a result of the nip but she has no idea) and walking sideways. Right now she is having a 20 minute conversation with someone about septic systems.....once again I say..why is she single? Sewerage discharge might not be appealing to Hugh, George or Kenny. Matter of fact...TO ANYONE! But she is happily discussing trenches, elgins and pumps. There was a day when the word "pumps" meant Stewart Weitzman's latest design for high heels. I am suspect that the economic conditions and changing real estate market has taken on new meaning for many words.

Word
Old meaning /New meaning

Pumps
High Heels /Sump,well or septic

Suit
Tahari spring line /Suit of armor for foreclosed properties

Lip Color
Mary Kay lipstick /Blistex with a hint of color

Gloves
Red leather fur lined from Florence /Protective unfeminine things

Lunch /
Cobb Salad w/chicken($5.99) /Grilled cheese w/tomato ($1.95)

Cocktail
Premium martini /Chardonnay in a box

Showing
Potential sale /Waste of time-driveway not plowed

House
Someones dream /Someones nightmare

Hair Appointmentt
2 hour beauty session /Trip to CVS to buy Loreal color in a box

Buyers
Happy! /Scared to death!

Sellers
Happy! /Scared to death!

Communication
Phone call /Text, Scan,email, Facebook & phone call

Beauty Treatment
Pedicure & facial /Hand sanitizer

We are now spending the day together......me recouping from my battle and her organizing her closet.