Winter Etiquette

Hi...it's me....Annie Grace....

My head is splitting....I have just endured a breakfast (1 tablespoon of Sheba and Wisker Lickens) of The Lady's etiquette for winter. Most of it has no bearing on my life or is cause for concern to me.

1. After January 15th all Christmas (ooops.... Holiday ) decorations shall be removed or each home will be fined $150 per day.

2. Snow removal on cars- all cars without all snow removed from the roof shall be fined $150 per hour. Seriously....how stupid do you think you look with a Mohawk of snow on your roof?

3. Have a minivan or SUV does not constitute driving like you are in a Zamboni. You can still go off the road!

4. Having a minivan or SUV does not mean........get really close to my tail....while on the phone. I will slam on the brakes...no problem. I know more State Troopers than you....guaranteed!

5. Jogging on the main streets while sidewalks are not yet plowed. Is it REALLY necessary?

6. When you don't live in the house you have for sale....... People still need it plowed and shoveled! Like.......

7. Getting your car washed prior to a snow storm....the day of!. Are you just ignorant to your weather or do you just like spending unnecessary money and then having everyone see your stupidity?

8. Running to the store for groceries right before the prediction of snow. Do you really have no food in the house? Have you ever not been out of the house and on the road the next day after snow?

9. Buying milk and bread before snow. Seriously.....they go bad very quickly. I suggest vodka (also act as an antiseptic for injuries...milk won't help you) and starch is not necessary......might I suggest pork tenderloin with shallot lemon Brussels sprouts? Less calories.

10. Last but not least...if you live in the North East......buy a home within walking distance from a drinking/eating establishment. Trust me.....it is way too much fun during a snow storm! Ask Schmirl.