Hi....it's me Annie Grace.................Here it is.......THE SACRED CROWN. Much blood was shed and talons came out. It was an evening that horrified me. They all came streaming in...one by one...in the pouring rain with their ornaments in tow. They held their offerings proudly in their hands holding them out with glee on their faces, thrusting them at The Lady. They all thought they were the winner with eternal hope and visions of sugar plum fairies dancing in their heads. The wine flowed, they laughed and by this point I was completely bored and I went to sleep in my serving tray. Still more women streamed in....when oh when does this end? Each came to acknowledge me...one by one. I had already planned out my act......slightly sweet yet quietly uninterested. How many more are coming? Mind you they are all dressed in their finest....lip gloss perfectly applied, re-applying with each sip of fermented grape juice, happily waiting to be photographed with The Sacred Crown....if they are the winner. Luckily The Tomato Picker managed to dust off The Sacred Crown and bring it..to surrender her year of glory. Meanwhile The Pigeon and The Lady are proudly proclaiming their ornaments to be "the finest in the land". They each glare at one another from across the room. After about 15 minutes of immature sparring The Rock Star now smugly says "mine is the winner." They gasp.....that is impossible! How could it be....she has never attended The Blessed Event! She is wandering in uncharted territories. One by one..the ornaments were opened, Ohhh and ahhhed over, examined very closely, scrutinized, touched and felt, peered at and now the moment of truth. they are all lined up to be secretly voted on.
The votes are cast. Because The Lady has a very simple mind she can not possibly tally up the results, she makes The NJ Waif pull in the final results. (Perhaps Florida should have used her in the last election.) A hush came over the group of hens....then a gasp, then The Pigeon and The Lady shrieked......NO! NO! The Rock Star had won!! I am now realizing those Millin women are brutal. Here is the passing of THE SACRED CROWN.
A new winner.....The Rock Star. Only 363 days until the next one.
And off they go...Merry and The Sacred Crown...to the basement.
4 comments:
Annie
to have survived such and event! Estrogen everywhere not to mention fermented grape juice. You truly are a special creature.
G.A.
G.A.
I survived it by.....sleeping through it! Yes, I am a very special creature...spoiled actually.
I am still distraught that The Rock Star kicked my behind - as a first timer, and with a purchase from MY STORE no less. She is SO going down next year.
The Pigeon
PS - tell The Lady that one of my new work friends had her inaugural ornament exchange this week and her friends LOVED it - she is making it a tradition :)
Dear Pigeon,
She will be brought down......and she has no idea because she never reads this blog!
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