Hallucigens

Hi....it's me Annie Grace,
I have just come down from a little episode with catnip. I am suspect that she gives me this stuff when she is trying to distract me or has feelings of guilt that she is too busy for me. Which I now question her ability to raise children. What mother would give her kid drugs when she is trying to work on the computer, fold laundry or just stays out too late the night before? Really? I now understand why the little Urchin lives elsewhere. In my hazy mind I piecing what happened earlier. She folded towels and put them on the stairs. I LOVE to sit on the stairs and roll my face in the clean towels for...about an hour. The Lady gets that funny look on her face like something is just a little unsettling. Look Lady, it's just fur! I know they are clean but I am a fabric softener cat just like that stupid bear in the Snuggles commercial. I love the smell. I sleep on them...for about an hour. I distract her by asking her if she forgot blush today...she looks a tad peaked. Now she is rummaging around the GNP while looking in the mirror. Next I decide the refrigerator magnets need re-arraigning. So jump up on the radiator and reach up acting like I had a specific plan in their placement. I have the ability to look all ticked off and beautiful all in the same look. Yup....there it is...the HER look...she is thinking what shall I do? As always her solution? Give the cat some nip. As I hover over it inhaling the fragrance thinking......I wonder if this comes is spray form? What a fabulous perfume. I would put it in her Dolce and Gabanna Light Blue bottle. Maybe she would would actually attract a man! Never mind...we would need a whole field of nip.
So, after I am done with my paranoid state for about an hour. This includes dementia which I have no idea who she is and why I am here? Then I swear I see about 100 mini mice running around the house. I capture all of them...in about an hour. Then I go upstairs and rattle every closet I can find because I am being chased by a purple elephant. Truly frightful. I then watch as one of the mini mice I did not get..ate the purple elephant. Now I am safe so I skulk back downstairs for a nap. Just as I am about to doze off The Lady rudely interrupts..."Annie,what was all that racket upstairs?" I raise one eye half way and think to myself, did she not see 101 mini mice and a purple elephant? No, she did not. She was busy goggling George Clooney and seeing if the price of UGG's had come down. Yes, this is my caretaker. Once again as I about to doze off ....here it comes......another final ridiculous statement from The Lady. "Annie, did the blush help? Do I look better?" I tell her she looks beautiful and finally she is quiet.