Wildlife

Hi....it's me Annie Grace....

A.K.A-Ranger Rick

I thought I should back up my stories of the wildlife this year. The Fox and Skunk (only one not the other 3) have already been posted but these varmints have yet to be displayed.

Let's start with The Gray Tree Frog.

It's GREEN! Why would you name it that? Is the yellow Labrador really white?

The White trespassing cat

"......And forgive us our trespasses,as we forgive those who trespass against us".

Now I see where that comes from. There is even a prayer about this thing.

The Turkey Vulture

Yes, it's eating a dead skunk in front of the house.

Has anyone seen the size of these things? They are HUGE. I almost fell off my window sill when I saw this. WHY is it a Turkey Vulture? Are there Chicken Vultures? Veal Vultures?

A Long Eared Rabbit

The Lady said I remind her of a rabbit. I fail to see any resemblance of this dumb thing that will be eaten by a fox within 48 hours.

Perhaps now you can see why we traveled this summer. Clearly we are back to reality as she walks in tonight and I politely ask her where she was, how her day was and remind her they make waterproof mascara and eyeliner which she should have used.

"Oh Annie Grace, I had an open house and then a showing at a waterfront house." Keep in mind it is raining pigs and dogs today with a nice gustily SE wind. Did she not have an umbrella? I decide that pointing out yet more of her flaws nor her hair would be the best thing today so I ask exactly what an open house REALLY is.

"Oh Annie, It's when you advertise to the entire public that any stranger can come into this house for two hours unsupervised, regardless if they have any money, ever intend to buy a house, scour for decorating ideas and just basically wander around."

I gasp. That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Strangers? In a house? The sellers really want this?

"Oh yes Annie. They love it. Anyone can come. Felons, over medicated people and even crazy people. Since they are bursting with pride that their house is the best thing in the entire world sellers want everyone to see as at least 100 people will certainly pay top dollar."

So you were busy Mommy Dearest? I ask.

"Oh no Annie. No one came".

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Hi

Hi....it's me.....Annie Grace.......

Here we have an "event" or "function" as these wine drinking vixens like to call their excuse to go out and drink wine. I am not making this stuff up! This is a night at the theater to see Dirty Rotten Scoundrels at a fabulous theater, by the sea, and they choose the closest establishment to the theater that just happens to have 2 for 1 dinners. I am suspect that the bar bill exceeded the food portion. At least here they look relatively tame and with a time deadline of opening curtain I suspect there will be no pole dancing tonight. I should add that this is just one more night I sit up and wait for her Highness to arrive home. By myself. Alone. Without company. Solo.

I have asked exactly where this fits into our budget and am told it falls under Education/Grocery (food was involved) just as I am told her pedicure for this Event" falls under Medical /Mental Health. Next I should focus your attention on our Hurricane Kit, or lack of I should say. We have had yet two close calls and I am yet to see proof of my safety.

Here is Hurricane Bill which turned out to be a complete let down but to my benefit as I have no hurricane preparedness here. She is off getting photos of the storm instead of protecting our domicile all while I am suspect there is no "kit". I will be forced to feast on dead skunk remnants in the road. I might also add this is the same weekend that she is riveted on Ted Kennedy's funeral sobbing that Camelot is over. I have no idea what she is talking about nor the patience to listen to another fairytale. Wake up Dorothy! Your not in Kansas anymore.

I am home from my summer vacation

Hi....it's me....Annie Grace,

I know sooooo many people have been wondering where I went. Well.... let me start from the begining.

After weeks of rain in which I was very suspect that I had been kidnapped and placed in Seattle, battling 4 skunks, 1 possum, 2 fox, a tree frog plastered to the glass door and 1 long eared rabbit I awoke to find a stretch limo at the front door, a drop dead gorgeous driver with ripped abs and a note from George Clooney instructing us to get in the limo and we were being whisked off to his yacht for a month in the south of France and the to Canne finally ending up in his home in Italy for the month of August. I dutifully went. Without my Wisker Lickens Beach Part Flavor. We were chased by Sea Pirates for a bit and shot at by island people but all in all it was quite fun. I know it sounds like the latest trashy novel The Lady is reading but I seriously believe it happened! I am forced to be on 24 hour predator patrol as we have been ambushed by Marlin Perkins Wild Kingdom. My song birds are being threatened by a white uninvited cat who stalks the feeders. I will hill him. The Lady has cut her hair, actually The Rock Star did it after a martini, proclaiming it gives her a VERY European look. It does not. She asked me if I wanted to cut my hair as well and I just gave her The HHTT Look, dilated my pupils which she actually understood and promptly put the shears down. Why oh Why would I cut my gorgeous hair. What would I deposit in clumps around the house? Is she daft?

So in summary, we are home...... living on a yacht is just too barbaric, Canne was too hot, and decided that George was just a fling as there are so many endless possibilities here in Mayberry. Sorry for not being better about my Blog this summer but to Fig and The Librarian, Smitty and Babs.......... I have returned!