Serpico....our skunk

Hi....it's me.....Annie Grace...........

Let me start from the beginning. Yesterday as I was demurely sitting in front of the glass front door silently watch my workers take care of the yard I would elegantly swish my tail pretending I had some interest in them. I actually did as the birds began to boar me. Next I hear the rumble of the UPS man. I have a bond with him as I watch him daily deliver on the street. I named him Earl, and I expect he will be dropping his fabulous packages across the street and will then wave to me upon departing. I patiently wait for him to emerge from the truck and run across the street (they work VERY hard....seriously.....have you ever seen a fat UPS man???). Now I gasp..... he is heading to our front door. I wave one paw and silently yell....Hey Earl.....TAKE IT BACK!.... We are on a budget! He drops the package at the front door and takes off with a wave. I spend the next 30 minutes trying to get a look at the return sender and finally after balancing on the corner of the couch while looking side wise out the window....I see it. SEPHORA!! I knew she would cave. Like any good caregiver I wait for her to return and confront her. Hey Lady.....you got a package. She freezes and slowly turns to face me. "Well Annie....I am quite certain it is a gift" she tells me...blatantly lying. Really....a gift? "Well Annie....what else could it be. I would never order Urban Decay Twice Baked Summer Quad of eyeshadow complete with primer and shimmery brown eyeliner, nor the Bare Minerals beginners set of foundation." she tells me while looking up at the ceiling fan. You lie!!!! I turn and leave the room in disgust. Now she is running after me exclaiming it was free shipping and came with 3 free samples. I have nothing to say to her except the colors really are striking on her. (Yes....she has already applied it. ) That is just the beginning of the evening. If the colors did not look so good on her.....she would be grounded. With a new spring in her step based on new product she is now pulling all my toys out of my "toy basket" exclaiming we should "play". Playing is not part of my agenda so......I ignore her. She heads outside before we retire off to bed to check her freshly cleaned deck (don't ask.......it's been a 3 day project which would be better left to a professional but apparently everyone at Home Depot was "so helpful" .........she did it herself) and comes flying back in the house. "Oh Annie......a skunk is living under our deck. It just walked by me." she is hyperventilating to me. I distract her by asking what is his name. Serpico is what I am told. As you can imagine.......DOA extermination is now on the job today. We have a trap. This will be our evening amusement after a one hour dissertation of how this new make up will "change our lives". We will provide photos once Serpico is caught.