Why you should never leave you house...

Hi.......It's me...........Annie Grace,

Today is just another typical day here. I wake the sleeping Queen at 6:41 AM as usual, scoff down my one tablespoon of Sheba, then resort to chomping on Iams Hairball Reducer (which clearly does not work that good.....), moving on to hovering around her legs feigning affection yet really only hoping I would get more Sheba. When that does not work I just sit at her feet while she drools over Matt Lauer and all the alarming news with my back to her and just sit. I feel this small span of companionship in the morning is what gets me off the hook from constant holding. I can not take anymore morning news which is filled daily of 12 reasons why you should never leave your house and basically live in fear everyday...........



1. Spider bites that can kill you

2. Getting hit in the head by a falling tree limb...don't EVER walk under a tree!

3. Drinking wine increases your risks......only the week before drinking wine DECREASES risk

4. Tragedies that can occur from children dressing up at Halloween

5. Infections you can get from a church pew

6. The parasites that live in your bed

7. Why you should never swim with lions......... and WHY would you??

8. Wearing high heels can give you back pain when you are 92..who cares, it's how you look now

9. How you are in danger from predators when you email strangers.......Why would you???

10. The risk of ANY food you buy in the super market. Yes...let's all have our own gardens.

11. How your clothes can catch fire.....yes....let's all be naked all day

12. How harmful UV rays are....yet we are all deficient in Vitamin D and ever day we should sit in the sun for 20 minutes a day....without sunblock...that you can not get the proper Vitamin D from a vitamin.

I am sooooo confused and thank god that I am a cat. NONE of this has any bearing on me, my species or my well being. I have no intentions of dressing up for Halloween, wearing high heels, drinking wine nor swimming with lions.

Now I must go take my post breakfast nap in which I will sleep, fall off the back of the leather chair, become startled and the glare at The Lady for an hour blaming her as clearly she must have pushed me off the chair.