Our Squatter is missing

Hi....It's me....Annie Grace,
While watching over my abode today. (Actually.....I have done nothing except sleep but.....that's what I told The Lady what I did) I am noticing after The Lady completely freaked out about our Squatter and the fact that it could be a 21 LB bear....because she was comparing the tracks in the snow and now has it down to The Bear or an alley cat which has me more in a tizzy than the bear so it has been my mission to make sure we are safe. I notice she has called DOA Extermination (just frightful in the name alone!!!!) and he was lurking around to rid us of this varmint. I am suspect that it is a MALE cat who is stunned by my beauty and is now trying to woo me. I am sure that word on the streets is that I am so stunning and single. (I am...... not quite sure if they know I am fixed but....that is conversation for a second or third wooing). I just knew that as modest as I am it would take time for these rough and tumble male cats to come alooking. I have decided that based on The Lady's needy nature I am in no rush to leave the roost. Seriously..... It's a full time job with her. Praising her 5 coordinated shades of eyeshadow, her Shocking Pink lipstick, reprimanding her very short skirts, reminding her that I am not a child..... nor did she give birth to me, and basically putting up with her. Although we have developed a routine and I have grown to tolerate her..... a strapping tomcat would have me looking for a replacement.