Dinner Party favors

Hi......it's me ........ Annie Grace,
After lounging around looking as regal as I can...without falling off the back of my leather chair ....I pondered some of The Lady's evening dinners. Yes, she had another one this weekend and came back exclaiming she now can make risotto....very late. As if that has an impact in my life. After giving her the mother of all HHTT Looks I sprawl out and try desperately to be invisible. It's not working. Her endless chatter.... about the snow, trying to show houses with unplowed driveways, signs knocked down from snowplows, the sales at the malls that she can not attend, the 3/4 choclate UGG's she wants and upcoming dinner parties. I started thinking.....what is wrong with these people she knows. She comes home.....usually late...with party favors of Thomas's English Muffins, 2 cans of Edge Shaving Cream (both with a FREE razor mind you) and other various trinkets. Please keep in mind she gave the Urchins relish and lip gloss. Now she is chattering about her new parents (Babs and Smithy......The Thieves) coming up to see her ALL THE WAY from Florida. I am too tired to tell her that
#1 They are not her parents.....They are Pamelerrr's.
#2 They are coming for The Young Urchins 5th birthday (who is NOT her daughter...really!)
#3 They are coming to visit Pamelerrrr's family!
#4 They are dough thieves....stick with your birth parents....they are only felons.
I am suspect that Pamelerrrr is right. She should be concerned. The Lady is trying to take over her family. Like a bad Lifetime movie.

I have suggested she pull out her Princess Martini Glass and perhaps analyze her warped perception. She fails to see my point and thinks that is a fabulous idea. Now I must go and curl up and give mental telepathic signals to Poland and Italy in hopes that I might be adopted by a "normal person"..... I have very little hope at this point.