I am trying to hide from The Lady.....I need a little time to myself. You see... what happened was we were having some Iams Hairball Reducer with Wisker Lickens for desert and she was talking...talking... talking...about everything. I thought to myself....why oh why me....Trying to avoid indigestion I just kept looking at her....her face.....her hair......oh my gosh...her hair! I thought I was being proactive... So... I said.."You should make a hair appointment....your gray roots are showing...." She gave me a very blank look and said... "it's the sun". I said..."no.....you really should make an appointment." Well as you can imagine...the kitchen flew back.....she spent a good 5 minutes examining all of her roots. Then in a panic she proceeded to call The "Hair Stylist".......about 10 times. (I personally think it is a hairdresser but apparently the NJ Waif thinks if you pay them a ton more money and they act very interested in you personally THEN they are "Stylists") Every time the answering machine came on she hung up and called again...and again.....finally I said... "It's 6:30 AM why would ANYONE pick up? She said because vanity never goes to sleep......Let this be a lesson to me.....and my vanity. Mine? I personally look beautiful everyday....all day..... She fails to realize that I do spend at least 3 hours a day grooming myself......and then I do sleep....all day...everyday....and I do not have gray hair.
She takes the day off to wait to hear back from "The Stylist"....oh goody.
So later I am laying in the sun....minding my own business and she says..."Oh Annie...you really are happy here! You are bathing in the sun with your eyes closed .....looking so content". I open one eye..... half way..... hoping she would leave. She just stands there gazing at me like she has created some fabulous world for me! Now I gave her the two eyed but only half way open look.....Personal space lady... look it up...you are in mine! She has no idea that I was dreaming....of escape.....Poland.....my people.......potato vodka......or maybe Italy.....with Shirley....wine.....critters in the vineyards. I close my eyes.....please please willing her to go. She now tiptoes away......quite pleased with herself thinking that I am happy and even smiling ......with major... major gray roots which she better get colored....real soon.
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