PeeWee Herman and Mr Rogers

Hi.....it's me......Annie Grace,
I am doing a term paper Yes.....I am. (I am now pursuing a degree in...something ....at Brown University) on the evolution of growing up. It's actually a study on why the younger generation is warped.

I first started thinking about what children watch as they grow from Cherubs to Urchins to Devils and then finally to Self Centered Adults. Trust me......I can say that as I live with the most vain one of all.

So lets start from TV Land in the beginning.

Mr Rogers -1970's

Oh how all the parents of the 60's embraced his "Won't you be my neighbor" concept. These are the same parents who were at Woodstock so I suppose the LSD was still running freely through their veins.

At the beginning of each episode, Fred Rogers enters his television studio house, singing "Won't You Be My Neighbor?". He hangs his coat in a closet, puts on a cardigan zipper sweater, and removes his dress shoes to put on sneakers.
Starting in 1979, episodes were grouped into week-long series, with each series focused on a particular topic. Rogers' monologues throughout the week explore various facets of the topic, and the ongoing story from the Neighborhood of Make-Believe serves as illustration.
Rogers covered a broad range of topics over the years, and the series did not shy away from issues that other children's programming avoided. In fact, Rogers endeared himself to many when, on March 23, 1970, he dealt with the death of one of his pet goldfish.

I truly hope he flushed the goldfish.

I suspect that the parents of this generation might be a tad leery of allowing their children into his playhouse.

Then we have PeeWee Herman - 1980's

This half-hour CBS-TV Saturday morning live-action "children's show" aired from 1986 until 1991 and was enormously popular with both children and adults. The program won six Emmy Awards and a host of other accolades during its first season. Incorporating clips from vintage cartoons and old educational films, newly produced 3-D animation, hand puppets, marionettes, and a cast of endearingly eccentric characters led by a gray-suited and red-bow-tied Pee-wee Herman (Paul Reubens), Pee-wee's Playhouse might best be described as a flamboyant take off on the genre of children's educational TV--a sort of Mr. Roger's Neighborhood meets MTV.

I personally question how Mr Rogers would feel about the comparison. Especially after PeeWee's arrest.....but I will leave that alone. Just a quick note.....there is a resemblance....seriously....look.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKcYGOIJhqo&feature=related

Barney-1990's

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZZivl5iKCo

Although the show has been criticized for its lack of educational value, Yale researchers Dorothy and Jerome Singer have concluded that episodes contain a great deal of age-appropriate educational material, calling the program a "model of what preschool television should be.
One specific criticism is:
shows do not assist children in learning to deal with negative feelings and emotions. As one commentator puts it, the real danger from Barney is denial: the refusal to recognize the existence of unpleasant realities. For along with his steady diet of giggles and unconditional love, Barney offers our children a one-dimensional world where everyone must be happy and everything must be resolved right away.Barney likes many different foods such as fruits and vegetables, but his main favorite is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a glass of milk.

Criticized for it's educational value??? Everyone must be happy????? Peanut butter and Jelly???? Negative feelings and emotions are not dealt with???? I am on to something here! Prozac becomes introduced into the world right about now I suspect and all children become obese. Huuummmm

Dora The Explorer-2000's

Dora, the main character, is a young girl who embarks on a trip in every episode in order to find something or help somebody. She asks the viewers at home to help her find new ways to reach places with the help of Map. She also teaches viewers Spanish, introducing them to short words and phrases.
Dora has a positive view of the characters she meets, failing even to hold a grudge against the mischievous fox Swiper, who continually attempts to steal items from her party. She acts against villains only when it seems that compromise is impossible, and even in these cases, fails to display actual anger. She gives others a chance to try their hands at tasks even when she herself might have an easier time with them. Dora values her family, whom she loves openly, though she spends little time indoors at home with them. She tries to introduce her traditions and customs, subtly and without compulsion, to those who are not familiar with them.

Spends little time with her family????? Gets vindictive when compromise is impossible???? Teaching short words in Spanish???? I suspect this is when they changed over the ATM to selecting a language before you begin. English or Spanish. No German or French seen on the ATM screen....thanks Dora!

In conclusion....We went from creepy..to pervert....to a fat happy purple thing with no emotion to a narcissistic half speaking Spanish little girl that never displays anger. All my questions have been answered.

How much drama is involved in replacing windshield wipers

Hi....it's me....Annie Grace,
I decided to take some time off from napping to share my latest experience with our drama. I say OUR drama because anything that affects my warden ....I mean..... mother, will somehow make it's way into my world. A quiet slumber filled world which is void of drama. Mommy Dearest on the other hand can take the simplest task and basically...screw it up. The latest screw up came when I was downstairs sleeping on the hood of the car, which was freshly washed so I made sure to walk through a bit of water before jumping up on the hood which was my version of a signature or tattoo. As I walked back and forth (about 43 times...give or take) over the hood trying to figure out EXACTLY where I would sleep, I gasped. No wonder the windshield is fuzzy after a washing, the blades need to be replaced. Knowing the severity of the situation in cleanliness I quickly took my nap and hightailed it back upstairs without even passing my feeding station to see if gifts were left. Actually....that's not true, I did not SLOW DOWN when I went by as I can see out of the corner of my eye....no gifts were provided. I ran around the house...about 3 times, deposited 6 clumps of fur on the rug, and finally found The Lady in the bathroom applying yet one more coordinating color of eye shadow.
"Oh Hello Annie Grace.....finished napping?" she says while applying too much Sugar Plum.
With my important message delivered to her she immediately puts down the Lamcome Quad of eyeshadow and spritzes a lot of Dolce and Gabanna to head off to Benny's to get new wipers. If there is one thing I learned upon my arrival here 570 days ago it is that her patience level is....zero. Meaning if something needs to get done or she wants something....it means NOW.
With new wipers in hand I inspect them while she reads the directions. I gasp...yet again. They are super duper RainX Elite wipers which I suspect are for a Hummer. As I help by sitting on the stairs watching her remove the old metal wipers with relatively little bleeding I remind her that she better have the right ones because now she has no wipers.
"I know Annie...I had the guy at Benny's help me. Usually I just stand outside in the parking lot pretending to put them on while looking confused and usually somebody helps me. But since it was getting dark no one helped." she tells me while turning the new wipers around 5 times trying to figure it out which end is up.
Needless to say...after 32 minutes and reading the directions 7 times....they still are not on. The following day....they still are not on and she has wrapped tissue with tape over the ends in case she forgets and starts the wipers. I am quite sure it looks lovely while she is on the road. Next she involves 3 men at work to help install the adapters needed. All 3 men can not understand why she could not just replace the rubber piece of the blade and why she had to have these heavy duty wipers. I asked her why myself but let it go after she explained to me it's the same as an eyelash curler.
You can only replace the rubber piece of an eyelash curler a few times before the metal part is not working to it's optimum ability and you need to get a brand new one.
She actually has a point.
None of the men understood that point but they too can not get them on. Since the old ones broke when she was removing them panic sets in. Does it look like rain? Finally she figures it out after reading the direction 57 times and seeing it's going to rain on Sunday I suspect she will be driving around town with these very expensive Elite wipers which have consumed 4 hours of 4 peoples lives.

Olives are not a vegetable

Hi......It's me....Annie Grace......

I have been down this argument numerous times but can not continue to win. Olives in a martini are NOT a vegetable. We all remember the days when Ronald Regan declared ketchup as a vegetable for schools....... it's the same concept. Anyway, these are our cocktail napkins which have truly embarrassed me to no end. Back to Ronald Regan and the ketchup issue. Tomatoes are a FRUIT!!! Seriously.

The confusion about 'fruit' and 'vegetable' arises because of the differences in usage between scientists and cooks. Scientifically speaking, a tomato is definitely a fruit. True fruits are developed from the ovary in the base of the flower, and contain the seeds of the plant (though cultivated forms may be seedless). Blueberries, raspberries, and oranges are true fruits, and so are many kinds of nut. Some plants have a soft part which supports the seeds and is also called a 'fruit', though it is not developed from the ovary: the strawberry is an example. As far as cooking is concerned, some things which are strictly fruits may be called 'vegetables' because they are used in savoury rather than sweet cooking. The tomato, though technically a fruit, is often used as a vegetable, and a bean pod is also technically a fruit. The term 'vegetable' is more generally used of other edible parts of plants, such as cabbage leaves, celery stalks, and potato tubers, which are not strictly the fruit of the plant from which they come. Occasionally the term 'fruit' may be used to refer to a part of a plant which is not a fruit, but which is used in sweet cooking: rhubarb, for example. So a tomato is the fruit of the tomato plant, but can be used as a vegetable in cooking.

Just so you know....this same site discusses Banana's as an herb as well as a fruit. WHO CARES?????

Here are a list of all the other things that should be followed by....WHO CARES?????

1. 4 people in this state have been ticketed for texting in the last couple of months.

2. Carlie Sheen was arrested on Christmas Day.

3. There will be a third outbreak of Swine Flue in the spring. (Says who????? God?)

4. It's cold in Florida. (How does one control the weather? It is what it is....)

5. Airports have body scanners. (Seriously??? That will stop everything bad from happening.)

6. People who post comments on News sites ......on-line. Get a life!

7. Kate....from Jon and Kate plus 8.....her new hair style. Take care of your kids please....

8. Brad and Angelina's pregnancy......I give you both 3 more years together

9. Jay and Conan's battle..... We are sound asleep by 11. Do they really say that much fascinating?

10. Finally.....your political or religious views.....and all the places you traveled. You are no more right or better than my insane neighbor....the one I blow our leaves into their yard

While many egos will be shattered......It's all true.....and olives are not a vegetable.

Tween Cherubs

Hello.....it's me....Annie Grace....

Here are The Cherubs with The Lady/My Keeper/My Headache. Only now they are Tween Cherubs. What were we called when we were that age? Tweens did not exist in Websters Dictionary back then.... so what were we? We had no cells, iPods, iPhone, gameboy,Wii or even Ugg's. (As you can imagine Mommy Dearest has a blank look on her face and a look of horror comes over her face....YES Mommy.....NO Uggs! Does she not remember or is her brain capacity really that superficial) As a teen the electronics today must be purely exhausting. These wonderful Tween Cherubs still manage to tolerate her after all these years. The drama, the immaturity, the shallowness, the loudness and probably what completes the tolerance.....the gifts. The gifts are a bribe to keep them young, in awe of her and most of all....continue to call her The Queen. I personally suspect brainwashing is involved but The Cleavers (Ward and June) just roll their eyes and sample new cocktails knowing she will be out the door in 24 hours limiting her influence to ...... reversible. I should point out one fact I know....The Rock Star....seen here on

Christmas Day is............... her influence is quite.....irreversible!

Anyway.....all of these pictures are called Spamalots (obnoxious photos one takes of themselves at a party by pointing a camera at themselves. The trick is to get it centered and at that time, no one realizes the angle is quite unflattering). So, here we have Tweens and two sisters who really still think they are still teenagers......and me.....left at home....alone. So these tweens give Mommy Dearest a coffee mug which leads me to believe that in some way they are still brainwashed. Here is the mug which has been clutched in her hands every morning.

New Years Resolutions

Hi.....it's me....Annie Grace.....

I have been contemplating my existence and purpose in life this morning.....all while resting. My main role here is to keep things under control, wake my sleeping Lady at 6:31 AM, keep her in shape by running around collecting my clumps of fur, continue to stimulate the economy by not having interest in any toy she buys me (this way she continues to buy more), and to point out her flaws daily which also helps with the excessive amount of make-up she experiments with. But....since New Years Resolutions are ridiculous and everybody will ask what yours are (which in really NONE of their business) I feel the need to make some up which will then help validate theirs. So.....we both made up ours this morning over Iams Hairball Reducer .....Chicken Flavored.

Annie Grace's Resolutions

1. I will try to eat my food without spilling it all over the floor....... at least once a week.

2. When I want to play/attack Mommy Dearest at 2 AM...... I will not touch her face

3. I will pretend that I am a normal cat and feign interest in one toy.

4. I have no weight issues so..... I will ask for more treats and increase my nip rations

5. I don't have a career so...... I will count my blessings that I don't

6. I will not become agitated when the neighbors mangy feline enters the perimeter lines of my land......I will just shoot him.....to eliminate my stress

7. If I need to sleep in the linen closet, after dumping the sheets on the floor.... I will let her know when I am done so she can put them back

8. I will not sleep on the dining room table when she is not looking......as much

9. Next year...when the Christmas Tree goes up....I will only drink the water in the stand once a day

10. Next year......I will NOT make any resolutions and glare at anyone that asks what they are

Mommy Dearest's Resolutions

(please...keep in mind she wrote these while watching The Today Show which has been discussing the real estate market dramatically turning around this year)

1. No more inexpensive wines. Must be 89 points or above.

2. Pick one hair color instead of experimenting each time....stop thinking there is a better one

3. Find Annie Grace the perfect toy

4. Find myself the most perfect black boots (after I find Annie her toy)

5. Find a fabulous Waterproof eyeliner

6. Ignore Annie Grace's fur clumps

7. Figure out how to work the remote controls and the iPod

8. Not to kick or yell at the dryer when jeans are a tad too tight. Realize it's because they have a design flaw....the dryer is not at fault

9. Not to blow my leaves on the neighbors property

10. Next Year....have more resolutions with substance

Happy New Year!

New Years Eve

Hi.......it's me......Annie Grace,

Here I am on the Eve of a New Year and already I can tell this year will be exhausting. It starts right now a voice I hear from below.

"Oh Annie.... Annie Grace....where are you?"

Where am I? It's 5:30 PM and I am sleeping in designated spot #94...... the 4th shelve of the linen closet. Does the sheets on the floor give you a clue Lady??? I moved them all out to get a better vantage point further back.

"Annie? Are you up there?"

I move back into the closet praying for a miracle so I continue my 6 hour slumber.

"Oh Annie....there you are! Do you want to come downstairs and watch me make a sauce with meatballs?" she says while sticking her face in the closet.

No.....I do not.

BUT.......I gather myself, feign interest in seeing her upon my awakening and saunter downstairs with her like a broken child. First of all I should tell you.....I will not see one minuscule tablespoon of meatball or sauce and second I am astounded of what attire she has managed to put together while I slept. As I make my way toward my feeding station (which I notice has a new dish....probably to match the other one so everything is just PERFECT) she is still chattering to me about her new eyeliner and asking me if she needs more. Any more of that stuff and you will look like a two bit hooker I tell her. Happily she continues making sauce all while admiring her reflection in the window.

"Really Annie.....I don't think it looks too heavy at all. In fact it is quite glamorous." she tells me. I take one paw and scratch behind my ear, clean the other paw and just stare at her.

"Well Annie maybe it's very dramatic but after all.....it's New Years Eve!" I am informed all while still staring at her. I slowly turn back around and scope out the snowfall from today from the front window. Are you going to shovel Mommy Dearest?

"No Annie....I am hoping it will melt by tomorrow and I don't want to smudge my new Eyeliner in Hocus Pocus (Black with shimmering flecks of green......in case you were not aware) with any sort of a sweat."

Smart thinking Mommy Dearest....no need to worry about the mailman, milkman or guests!

As we close another decade and I suffer through another year of madness filled with potions, lotion (aka.... GNP - Gorgeous Nanci Product), minuscule rations of Sheba and a basket full of 34 toys which I still will have no interest in I just want to wish everyone a Happy New Year!

Love,

Annie Grace

Merry Christmas

Hi.......it's me....Annie Grace.....

Merry Christmas Everyone! This is me.....pathetically posing under the tree. The tree which is filled with glittery gaudy ornaments, some non-Christmas appropriate, some just gaudy and most immature! Just a moment of sympathy for my master and keeper to keep her FAR away for a couple of hours. First let me say.....she is home and I am so happy....all restraint went array which made me quite affectionate. I tried everything to restrain but quite frankly she left me alone overnight (please feel free to call DCYF) while she went to visit my "Family" to include neurotic cousin Manny (the Pound Cat, no papers, no pedigree, no pure breed). Why I can't go is beyond me but she mumbles something about cats traveling is not normal. Anyway... I digress. While she is now trying on 6 different varieties of lip gloss which I suspect are new.......I wanted to take a moment and say Merry Christmas!

Love,

Annie Grace Millin

Our Christmas Card

Hi...... it's me....Annie Grace.....
I have just awoke from my daily 6 hour nap and after sauntering downstairs, doing a perimeter check around the house, inspecting the tree to make sure I still have room to sleep under it and depositing large clumps of fur around the house.....I spot a bunch of Christmas cards that I have yet to inspect and chew on. As I read each and every one I scratch my head and lick my left paw in complete confusion. Are we in a recession? Does mail now cost as much as 1/2 of my Sheba minuscule portion of food? Did everyone travel this year and all the children are accelerating in after school sports? Are all people just "HAPPY AS A CLAM?" Perhaps even Tiger Woods is just embracing the fabulous changes in life? As the cloud of Dolce and Gabanna Light Blue crossed in front of me and the grand entrance of Mommy Dearest blocks my vision, I glance up and just gasp...... what on earth is she wearing?
"Oh Hello Annie...how was your 6 hour nap? And how do I look?" she says while getting a tad close to my face. Matter of fact her lip gloss is blinding me and I suspect it is new. Today's outfit consists of the high Swell UGGs in Brunswick Brown (absolutely adorable but....I thought we were still in a recession) and once again her Skinny Jeans which I am suspect are not doing their job, and a white sweater which is fur trimmed and conveniently matches that STUPID white fur hat. Just where was she? Skiing in Aspen or shooting a new movie with George in Switzerland? Perhaps running yet another fantasy life in her head when she dressed? I vote for the latter!
Anyway.....I digress....the Christmas cards! I wrote one myself and want to share it.

Happy Holidays!
Our Clooney Family here has had a joyous year indeed. We started the year with a bang and refused to let our foreclosure on January 2nd dampen our spirits. We moved all of our belongings to our home on Lake Como while renting a little something here. We feel this has made our family unit sooooo much stronger. We managed to do some extensive traveling which the most memorable was to West Greenwich and due to the difficulty in getting there we thought the scenery was gorgeous and cherished every moment. Mystic, CT was quite lovely and even though Little George Jr broke into one of the yachts which was privately owned....we applaud his determination and curiosity. No charges were filed. Bravo Little George! Little George has yet to hear an acceptance on any of the 51 colleges he applied to but we continue to tell everyone that we are hopeful that they will not really be focusing on his grades and sure he will be accepted based on the joy he brings to all.
Our middle child Claire has now been settling in nicely after a small stint in the Juvenile Training Center. She LOVES being back home and has promised us to refrain from all future drug use. We are sooooo proud of her! We even love her new tattoos, which are so colorful and will blend in nicely with her up and coming wedding dress. The blessed nuptials will take place just days after her 16th birthday. We have not met the groom yet since he will be released in the next month or so. (His good behavior has made this possible early! Yeah!)
Our youngest Johnny has really been a good sport through this year. He did not make the basketball, football, squash, tennis or golf teams this year but still tried his hardest. His reading level has been upgraded to "fair" which has opened up new doors for him! He now knows how to read the menu at Wendy's! The stolen car charges have been buried thanks to a big payoff to the owner of the car who so graciously agreed that Johnny accidental took the car thinking it was ours.
George and Nanci continue to count their blessings and feel the bliss of 19 years of marriage are the rock that keeps the family successful and stable. Although George is still collecting unemployment ....thanks to the extended benefits the government keeps offering we are quite certain that he will continue to collect for another 3 years which leaves plenty of time for fishing and visiting with "the boys" at Dunkin Donuts. We continue to cherish his coffee buddies.
Nanci has been tackling the declining real estate market with full gusto! She continues to sit at many open houses with a smile and although the foreclosures and short sales dominate she is optimistic that it will all turn around real soon!
Annie Grace has settled in nicely since her arrival 1 1/2 years ago and manages to sleep 21.5 hours a day all while managing to ignore all of us of the remaining 2.5 hours a day only demanding attention 1 hour each day. We are quite sure she is happy.
We have soooo many blessings we can not even count them. We hope your family is as functional and happy as ours. If yours is not...... Sorry.
Love,
George, Nanci, Little George, Claire, Johnny and Annie Grace

Sleeping habits #301

Hi....it's me.......Annie Grace.....

Let's just say this day has been quite unsettling. I awoke....at 6:50 AM with much to my shock and dismay, realized I was minutes behind my appointed schedule. Earlier at 1:52 AM I sprung up from my nocturnal slumber just knowing that sleeping UNDER the covers might be a new and more comfortable mode of sleeping so........diligently she complied with my wishes and promptly lifted up the covers and I slipped under to sleep. After 1 hour and 3 minutes I realized that it really wasn't working and I was having horrible nightmares that Mommy Dearest would suffocate me due to the late night sleep position adjustment so I crawled over her and came back out to sleep on my fleece at her feet. I suspect that The Lady has no idea of the importance of sleeping adjustments throughout the evening.......(and day, for that matter) so I plan for the next 6 days to completely educate her, giving her a more rounded knowledgeable concept of A CAT'S NAP. Like everything in life.....learning can be hard and with enough practice one WILL get it! But anyway....I digress. I awoke to see snow. Yes, a whole bunch of beautiful snow which i can see from every window and door. 20.3 inches to be exact.
Knowing the importance of a shoveled walkway for The Milkman, Mailman and the really cute UPS man ......I jumped on her head.....3 times. Get up! It's time to shovel! Let's go!
She promptly obeys my commands and diligently rations my 1 measly Tablespoon of Sheba Chicken Flavor before putting on The White North Face Ski jacket (which.....she does not ski), the ski mittens and lastly....the white fur hat (which she fancies because she feels that when wearing it she belongs in the movie Dr Zhivago). Armed with a shovel, I push her out the door and quickly race to the front storm door to sit and supervise. Periodically I wave as she looks up from the walkway with the snow still coming down. Keep going Mommy Dearest! You are doing fabulous. I see a flicker of irritation in her eyes but I am not sure if it's me creating this or the snow blowers on either side of her that make no attempt to help her. I suspect it's me.
What pleases me the most is once again.....when she flips off the plow that blocked in the freshly shoveled front walkway. "Making friends in town!!!" I yell.
It's a winter wonderland here.