Her future husband.......

So....this evening I was trying to kill time before I was carried off to bed. (yes.....I really flop like a ragdoll...thus...MY BREED) and I asked what is a husband and why does all the other cast of characters have one? She gave me a puzzled look........checked herself out in the window glass....fluffed her hair and said...."because I am waiting for George". George who????????? (and does he have Wisker Lickens?) She says with the most serious voice I have ever heard "George Clooney....." I raised one perfect eyebrow and looked her right in the eye.....you have got to be kidding!!!!!! You can not be serious? He is in Italy!! And......he is a movie star. "



She said "No... .. he does not live in Italy all the time".



I hope everyone is following me in the fact that she HAS NO LOGIC. None.



At this completely insane perspective I have to point out the facts to her.

1. He will never come to this prison of a house

2. He will never come to this state

3. He is not going to invite you to his villa

4. You will never have a chance encounter with him on a plane. (when? A layover in Philly?)

5. You will never bump into him at a James Taylor concert

6. He will not see you from across the room at "The Mews" and fall madly in love

7. You will never sell him a house

8. He will not see your picture in The Narragansett Times and track you down

9. Nobody will want to "FIX YOU UP WITH HIM"

10. Even IF you ever met him.......I highly doubt he would sweep you (and me) off our feet to live in harmony in his Villa....in Italy....on a lake...,.filled with Wisker Lickens.



I am quite certain she has seen one too many Julia Roberts movies.



She gave me a look (I get them often) and said "Annie Grace......you should be more positive."



What I am is ...............POSITIVELY certain that my well being is in her hands and while I wait for Sammer to come help with my escape.....I am doomed. Without any "Husband". Positively doomed.

dinner party

Hi...It's me Annie Grace....

So as you can now surmise..much of my complaints are her talking.

Well.....when I get one word answers...I know something is amiss. As the saying goes...."Do not bite the hand that feeds you", so periodically I do feign interest. Tonight was JUST a little odd. I asked where were you? "Out" was the answer. Out where? "Dinner" was the response. Dinner WHERE? "At Pameleerrrr's" was the answer. With The Urchin's???? Did they ask about me???? I am sure they were wondering where I was!!!!! The Lady explained they had "company" ....Smithy and Babs.
WHO??? They sound like the name of a rifle...or hit men. This is the most I can figure out at this point....

She went to a dinner party with Pamaleerrrrr, The Urchins,PAT (A Husband), Smithy and Babs (The parents of Pameleeeerrrr) and a fat dog named Sammy.
Sounds utterly facinating.......Sorry...I fell asleep for a second!.
A dinner party! Wow...how fun ....while I was chomping on Iams Hairball Reducer food alone........SHE was at a dinner party!!!!. I hope this time The Urchins had foot ware.
So....a DINNER PARTY....what trinkets did you go home with? What was the party favor? Fine china, crystal.....Congac...perfume...imported chocolates? What?????



She said no they gave her English Muffins. ......................Yes...with all the nooks and crannies...


Apparently Smithy and Babs knocked off the Shaw's truck and stole a case of English Muffins. See........hit men......dough thieves...it's all the same. They drove up from Florida to rob a Shaw's truck ....in uncharted territories. I am concerned that they drive cross country in their unsuspecting minivan stealing. They were "driving home to Florida".........hitting every state....to "visit people". Yeah, ....like more dough. Food is expensive these days! WE.....the consumer will pay! I mean really? What other explanation does someone have for a case of Thomas's English Muffins. Has ANYONE ever even bought more than 2 packages? I am seeing the reasons why the big urchin left with no shoes.....genetics. Just steal another pair! Quite scary indeed.

Right now The Lady is plotting a way to steal the young Urchin....to free her of the potential life of dough crime. I might step on board for this one myself! Utterly scary!!! I would watch out Pamaleerrrr.... But then again you are very busy these days blogging yourself.

But! Then I find this photo of The Urchins......with The Lady.....clearly unsupervised!!! Lipstick??????? On a young Urchin??????? Perhaps she is better off with a mother who thinks she is a Victoria Secret Angel and dough thieves for grandparents...... Mine are Felons so who am I to talk.

Please note......no shoes ....again on The big Urchin

Personal space

Hi....It's me....Annie Grace,



I am taking the time to gently explain to The Lady personal space.
That would be mine....hers I have no concern for and am in no mood to to argue with her that we are EQUAL. We are not! My space is my space.... Your space is my space. VerySimple. Here are some of my points I have explained to her-


There is no need to come over and pet me every time you walk by because I "look so sweet". I would look sweeter if I could SLEEP!


When I am on predator watch from the window......I am just fine working without the help of anyone standing behind me to look out the window "together". You serve no purpose.


There is no need to continually call me name when I am upstairs. I am in the bathroom. ALONE. As I should be! It is fine for me to follow anyone I chose into their bathroom though. That's just the way it is.


I do not need to be petted BY FOOT when I am on the coffee table. Keep your feet on YOUR couch.


The HHTT look is just a warning, the swipe.....a second warning and if she can not figure it out by then? The hand nip. Three times...your out. That is when I have to get up, go to another one of my 43 spaces, get settled, watch to make sure I am alone and then...only then....get some sleep.


The mornings- No need to lure me up to cuddle. I know when you are awake! I will be up to the top of the bed when I am ready. When I act happy to see you.....no need to get sappy. It's morning...I am hungry.....need Wisker Lickens after breakfast and the faster you get up......the quicker all of this takes place.

In summary........I have the right to encroach, explore, destroy, and "claim as mine" any personal possessions and air space within these confining 4 walls.

After all of this explaining she gets really close to my face ......very... very close (so much so her lip gloss had momentarily blinded me), sighs, raises both eyebrows and asks "Does that mean you are not watching a movie with me tonight?".

Just another one of my pointless conversations apparently.

"Yes" I told her. "We will watch your ridiculous love story/mystery movie together. You...on the couch and me....on the coffee table. All of our appendages in our own space and yes, I am happy to have you carry me to bed"

It becomes apparent after much looking about that I am not the only victim....many photos of her...lurking...crowding.....

The NJ Waif is turning 40

Hi...It's me Annie Grace.....

Yet another one of her "older " people is turning 40! I am instructed to say Happy 40th Birthday to the NJ Waif!!! This would be Sammer's ......the very modern cat in NJ formerly from NYC.... ANT..No it's not a typo...they have ANTS not Aunts down there. Wow...you sure hang out with OLDER people. She says yes ..............she does. I now peer at her......challenging her to continue with a slew of lies. SHE is not 32!!! Once again she bypasses this by fluttering about looking for lip gloss so she can go for a walk. All I can do is shake my head, drop a clump of hair, deposit yet more corrugated cardboard on the floor from my scratch pad, take a swipe at the leather chair and go to my window....for solitude and reflection.
The NJ Waif was over for dinner recently and I did actually feign some interest. Actually my whole thought process was to create some havoc on her perfectly Divine outfit. I almost succeeded by trying to tangle my claw in her sweater.....almost! I am being patient and figure pantyhose season is coming and I should do just fine. Also, the winter black clothing season will work quite nicely for my hair clumps.......cashmere would be preferable. COME ON OVER WAIF!!!
In my thinking hours....ooops....HOUR......I am pondering this up coming season. What will happen to The Toad? Due to rising fuel...will I have to cuddle with her...or freeze? Does she have time to rotate her wardrobe? Are her fashionable boots going to be accessible for chewing or will they be under lock and key? Why is she showing me a red polar fleece jacket that looks to be about my size?.....Oh my goodness!...It's HIS! I am not WEARING that thing. Will I get turkey? I am so exhausted now I must tap into my 16 hours of sleep............

The fly

Today has been a very productive day.....I have spent all day trying to open all the closet doors...making as much racket as I can. Finally each time she gets up from the computer..exasperated....and opens the door I have been rattling. So I sit, put both paws together, tilt my head...look at her like I am saying Thank You, then I look at the open door and turn and slowly walk away. (That is the secret.....walking away slowly...like SHE did something wrong). After 4 times she gave me "A Look". I then proceeded to swipe her when she walked by, which is not my fault as she usually has some ruffle, string or scarf attached to her latest attire. Next thing I know...I HUGE fly miraculously shows up. Now in all my time here I have NEVER EVER seen a fly here! I am suspect that she has planted it here so she can "work". I have spent 3 hours swatting it, chasing after it, and following it. I find it odd that it is attracted to "my window" and "my front door". My two favorite places??? The fly only likes my two favorite places??? This is insane. I ate it. So..... I look up...where she is working......ready to give the mother of all HHTT Looks. There...on the computer....I see it.....SEPHORA. Yes folks....she has planted a fly on steroids in the house so she can see the 25 greatest picks on Sephora. What human being would drive their cat insane for eyeliner and lip gloss?????

Ward Cleaver is 40!!!!

Hi....It's me...Annie Grace....
I am hear to say a big 40th HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my Uncle JFK Jr (who I have never met......)!!!! This is him with the two women who have tortured him for many years....currently two others have replaced them....The Pigeon and the eldest Cherub!!! So....after my daily dose of Wisker Lickens and a rather boring synopsis of her day...The Lady told me it's Ward's birthday and he's 40. Wow....."I had no idea your brother was that much older" I told her. (you see I am suspect that she is really 32) She bypassed my response quite smoothly and said "yes it truly is shocking". So what did you buy him I asked? A new car? A whole wardrobe of hockey equipment? A trip to Vegas? Please tell me!!! (and by the way did you sign my name on the card???). She said no...none of the above..it is much much better. At this point I am hoping he really knows her and will have low expectations...as I do. I would think that growing up with The Rock Star and The Lady must be ......well..let's just say.....quite exhausting!!! The Lady said...."no...we all sang kumbyahaa...daily." Really???????? I am quite shocked...daily???? There will come a day when I get to the bottom of her lies and madness but on this special day all I can say is HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
p.s. Uncle Ward will you please come and rescue me?????????? Soon!!!!!!!!!!!

Cleaning with the ceiling fans....

Hi.... It's me...Annie Grace..


This one still has me hysterical with laughter..... The Lady is fluttering about...vaccuuming...cleaning...trying to get all of my hair from the corners...very thorough job she is doing. Throughout the last 3 months the ceiling fans are on summer mode ( I know this because she labels which way the fans should go based on season.....she can not seem to remember...so she "labels"). All day I watch all the hair float up when the ceiling fans are on. So anyway.....she vacuums all the floors, Murphy Oils them. So I said "why don't you reverse the ceiling fans to push the air down to HELP dry the floors better". "Great idea Annie....you are so helpful and smart!" she exclaims. This is the best part!!!!... She reverses the fan and all my hair that has clung to the fan now comes flying down! It was fabulous!!! She is running around trying to turn them off and is dismayed to see all the hair floating down....on her wet floors.....clean wet floors. I gasped.....Oh my! In order to hide my smile I elegantly pretended to clean my paws. This is all payback from The Pledge Launch Pad incident.
As you may have guessed this "accident" has her now cleaning all the ceiling fans which in turn has given my time to use my cardboard scratch pad (the cheap one that leaves cardboard ALL over)....trying to stay out of her way.

Beach Etiquette

Hello...It's me Annie.....



I am learning rapidly about many things that have to do with living near the beach. The fog, hearing the seagulls, the traffic, wearing a bathing suit under your work clothes but beach etiquette is one I am not sure I even need to know. I was able to appear somewhat concerned and enthralled through most of the story, Here is what I never have to deal with.........but had to listen to...



She (The Lady) says she went for one of the last days at the beach and it was not crowded and some people came and sat very close to her.....too close. Do you need a reservation I asked? Did you ask for another spot No she said you can sit anywhere you want. So why did they sit so close? There was a whole empty beach and etiquette is you sit as far away from others as you can trying to stay evenly spaced between everyone. Yet, while you "claim your plot of sand" for only one afternoon those around you watch you set all your belongings out yet under a watchful eye making sure you "the newcomer" does not go beyond their invisible space. Then you gracefully try to disrobe and get your butt in the beach chair as quickly as possible only to realize your beach bag is out of reach so you have to stand up anyway and get it. With a stressful sigh, making sure your chair is positioned in the best spot so you can read without getting the belly tan lines and you look thinner ....only then.....can begin to read meanwhile scoping everyone around you from under your sunglasses. I mean you can basically stare at mostly naked people for as long as you want and they do not even know!! Like a spy!!!! Even if they do think it.....there is no proof with your sunglasses on. Then for fun....you wait for the novices to leave their bags unattended to go to the water and the seagulls descend in a group of 30 and pull out all their chip and food bags demolishing it all in about 3 1/2 min ......then poke around in all your personal belongings just searching for more.....all while you ran down for a quick dip. Etiquette at the beach.......NEVER EVER leave food unless it in a cooler. Then they come back from the water and look at you. (Like you really would eat their "generic brand" chips and Wonder bread sandwiches!) City Folk indeed. The locals eat Belmont gourmet food, Lobster Salad, brie and other imported cheeses or soupy....all with cloth napkins safely under lock and key.


So Beach Etiquette has many rules which apparently there is not a hand book written.....I thought I could help.


1. Don't sit really close to people unless you have to.


2. Leave your food locked....those around you have no need for 30 seagulls in "their space" as seagulls don't know the defined area....and hover.


3. Children running around are priceless...and lovely...no need for them to come close to others in "their space"...kicking up sand.


4. Your choice of music....while interesting.....does not need to be "enjoyed" by all at the beach


5. Your umbrella....is lovely as well and matches your chairs nicely.....but it will blow in your neighbors "space" and while you awkwardly retrieve it...they will glare at you.


6. While it is windy at the beach...no need to stand and talk loudly.....if you really had anything important to say....others would listen in anyway.


7. If you are sitting in front close to the ocean...please keep in mind there are rows of people behind you......they see everything you do.....every move.


8. If you come to the beach with an umbrella....and a tent.....maybe you should rethink why you are here!!!!!!!!!! It's the beach!! Not a camp ground. They sell sunblock EVERYWHERE!


9. High Tide is posted everywhere. You need to watch the time and properly place your chairs as you could be washed out and you look like a novice while trying to grab your chair, blankets and cooler. If you have difficulty in figuring that out.... learn from The NJ Waif and her Husband...they have it down to the inch!! Seriously.....if you go to the beach with them...no problems.



10. Lastly...... The rip current is clearly posted.....while the sight of 5 twenty something gorgeous buff lifeguards running by (visions.....of Baywatch..) is a pleasant sight...... DON'T GO IN THE WATER IF YOU CANT SWIM WELL!!!


I can only be happy the season is over......now she can complain about winter etiquette driving...

The Urchins

Hi....It's me....Annie Grace,

I am recovering from a wild night. Pamaleerrrr came and brought her Urchins. No...not The Cherubs....(they have yet to celebrate my arrival into the family.) The festivities were overwhelming and it seemed as though all night The Lady was trying to undo all the years of good behavior they had been taught. Quite ghastly really.... running bare foot all over the yard...matter of fact one urchin went home without his shoes....lost them...who knows where but it makes me suspect that two grown women sitting on their butts drinking wine would lose track of an urchins shoes....but who am I to bring up flaws. The other one swinging in a hammock...which was frightfully above boulders and other items of nature than can cause bodily harm. There were fudgsicles, ice cream sandwiches, ketchup...oh and wine. It is quite obvious to me why The Cherubs don't visit!!!!! I will say they were quite pleased with me! (Based on the others in attendance....that is not saying much..but..). So I asked The Lady about the little urchin....Is she yours? The Lady said yes. Although Pameleeerrr carried her for 9 months, gave birth to her, feeds her, raised her, keeps a roof over her head.....she is really The Lady's. I have limited knowledge of the outside world besides CNN but I fail to see the logic in this. You can not borrow OTHER PEOPLES KIDS!!!! The Lady asked "why not?". Because you just CAN'T! She is now re-thinking her original thoughts of her and the little urchin and ME on this years Christmas card..... so now she is off in the other room looking through HIS old things looking for a prop for me...to wear....in this years card. Great....can hardly wait. I managed to get some shots of what really goes on here. Be horrified with me.....